eunoia

WHEN THE NOISE IN YOUR HEAD BECOMES TOO LOUD!

Briana Kennedy

We have all heard a similar saying ...
I am sure you can ALL relate!

2021 was a huge year for me.
MARNIIE had grown to a full time business and my little side hustle - Tassie Makers Market had done really well after being birthed the previous year. I was still working a casual night job 2-3 nights a week and life was ticking over nicely.

As the year went on, and we got midway I knew that Tassie Makers Market could become something MORE, not just a little side hustle. It was beginning to take up alot of my time as it was too much for one person. So what do you do when a business is ready to grow and you can’t do it all? I went on the hunt for a business partner, out of the fog appeared a business friend of mine.
She was like a dazzling ray of sunshine that was very much needed for the business and we decided to run Tassie Makers Market together -  it became Tassie Makers Market Pty Ltd or 2.0 as I like to call it, it was ALIVE. 
Nadi had been running her own little pop up shop for Tassie creatives too, so combining forces just made sense. We knew we would be unstoppable together and the ideas began flowing!

As ambitious women we both run our own creative business, Nadia owns Simone + Co with her partner and myself MARNIIE, so we knew that from August onwards Christmas preparations begin to ramp up. So what do we do? We added more pop up shops to our list with almost one every 6 weeks,  including a 9 week pop up shop in a CBD location for Christmas. 
(Insert crazy laugh)
It wasn’t until one morning after I had been up very late finishing
MARNIIE stock that it hit me! 
I had to get up early the next morning to open the shopping centre pop up shop, then drive to the city store in my lunch break, then drive back to the pop-up shop to run it for the rest of the day into late night shopping, that I realized - I think we are crazy, I don’t know if I can mentally do this anymore!
Launching a new company was 100 times more work than we had both anticipated. If it wasn’t me running from location to location it was Nadia, we thought we were powerhouses but it was beginning to wear us down.

By the end of Christmas we had done 7 days straight for an entire month - 28 days is A LOT. 
When it came to Christmas I was so looking forward to spending time with family, resting, enjoying time without “having to do something!”

Turns out that when you have been working that hard,
your body stops but your brain doesn’t.
Mine was running at full speed, and it was stressing me and my family right out. Still in action and planning mode it wouldn’t stop, I couldn’t relax. The more I tried the more frustrated I got.
I wanted to be doing something, but nothing. I wanted to be enjoying my time off but the harder I tried the less I did!

It was when I was angry at the world for the 100th time, almost at the end of January, when It clicked.

I realized I was trying too hard to relax, I was burnt out! 
I had all these unconscious expectations for my family to relax the way I wanted them too, for myself the way I wanted to. It wasn’t going to happen!

I know as mothers, wives, business owners and employees we all do this!
People had tell me “you're doing too much, take a break”, but when you're in that vicious cycle it’s not that easy!
So I want to help YOU see the signs before you become a frazzled mess like myself!

What are the signs you are “Too Busy”?
Where is the line between getting shit done and running a circus with fire breathing monkeys while juggling chainsaws?

For me it’s;

Not seeing my family - I was gone first thing in the morning and getting home late. When I did see them I was tired and grumpy, mentally expecting them to pick up all the jobs I wasn’t doing around the home because I thought they were all mind readers. Then if they did do them I was angry that they weren’t done to my standard. Crazy lady!

Lost sense of purpose - I was just going to work and coming home, the passion for what I was doing was fading. I had no inspiration for MARNIIE and Tassie Makers Market just felt too much. I usually had creative juices flowing and a thirst to help others, but it was gone!
Not being present - I was NOT focused. I had 100 things going on in my head at any given time. If one of the kids was talking to me when I got home I couldn’t have told you what they had said let alone what my poor husband was trying to communicate to me. I forgot a lot of things or thought I hadn’t been told when really I wasn’t really listening because I was in my head prison.
Doing a lot of things but not well - All day I was just going through the motions, ok, next. I may have been doing a lot, but not to a standard I'd be proud of. Some days I felt like I was fixing more things than I had done because I had to backtrack as I rushed the task the first time. 
Unhappy and you don’t know why - This was the biggest one, and it hit when I finally stopped. I was so angry with my feelings of unhappiness because I felt I had just accomplished so much in terms of business but felt so empty. It was like all I had just done was for nothing!

So is the hustle no matter how it looks really worth it?
I’m not saying that achieving what you want doesn’t take hard work… but it shouldn’t burn you to a crisp.

...But I can't just stop doing it all! I can hear you yelling at me!
I know, you feel if you stop juggling, all the balls are going to hit you in the head!

It’s ok you don’t have to drop them all, just put a couple down safely one at a time and no one will get hurt.

Make a list of all the things you “HAVE TO DO”.
Number the items with 1. being most important down to least.
With the 3 least important things on your list - you need to PLAN, DELEGATE or DROP.

PLAN - Can you put a plan in place to make that task easier?
DELEGATE - Can you delegate that task? Ask a member of the family or a friend, explain how you feel and why you need the help, or if that isn’t an option can you get paid help? 
Remember anything that frees up your time is of value to you!
DROP - Can’t do either of the above or the task just isn’t THAT important - DROP THAT BALL.
We can’t do it all, and making sure the shower is scrubbed weekly or that little bobby has a weekly playdate might just have to go for now! It doesn’t mean it isn’t possible, it just means it can be flexible.

I hope in sharing this story with you that you might see signs in yourself that you know are your busy boundaries and something has to give. Please know that any advice I give is from my own personal experiences and you should see a professional for any mental health issues, depressive behaviour or thoughts.

Briana xx 
MARNIIE

 





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